Profoundly
by Wordaddict88
Summary: Just a short telling of how Regina might have felt when hearing about Emma engagement. #SWANQUEEN


_This is just something that I wanted to get out of my head. Not really a story lol, just an experience on Regina's part. Let me know what you think :)_

_I own nothing._

I knew, somehow, I just knew today would not be a good day. Though, as powerful a witch as I am, I did not foresee what misery I would endure. Confident in my strength and capability, I had no doubt that I could overcome anything.

How stupid of me.

Today was the day he proposed. The day you said yes, and the day that I finally realized I would never have you. Though everyone was celebrating joyously, the weather seemed to match my disposition. Thunder roared as rain poured down from a dark sky. I imagined it was the universe shouting down it's disapproval of the announced match.

The day passed in a semi blur. I, in some way ended up at Granny's along with most of the town citizens, celebrating the coming wedding. My body performed expertly the motions of all the appropriate praises and celebratory smiles, hugs and laughs. While in my head I was stuck in concealed mourning. I ended up sitting at a booth in the back of the diner alone with a half empty wine glass.

I watched in utter disgust as the man I loathed beyond reason, drunkenly draped himself on you. I hated him, yet I was jealous of him. A part of me wished I could be him, he was who you wanted and I would be anyone for you. Shamefully, I pushed back the tiny, though not so tiny inclination to just kill him. In my head I wickedly giggled at the thought of how easy it would be. Just a slight twitch of my finger and oops, no more pirate. Curse my newly discovered conscience. The fact that I am actually rationalizing reasons to kill someone that I hate is a true sign of the strides i've made in the opposite direction of my former self. Whereas, in the past I would have just killed him and moved on. Or rather moved on Emma.

All the excitement and laugher drowned out the storm outside. Your mother bounced around the group, giggling and smiling, talking about wedding ideas. The pirate went from drunkenly draping to drunkenly dominate. His arm was possessively wrapped around your lower back, holding tight. Still your mother yaped on in constant, not stopping for breath, then I saw it. You secretly glanced at him for only half a moment. But for that one sliver of a second, in your eyes hung what looked to be regret.

Then that son of a bitch pulled you closer, you turned to meet his eyes and he smashed his disgusting, bristly lips on yours. I don't know which came first, anger or sickness but they were equally present. Before I could either, hurl or explode I felt a hand touch my shoulder. It pushed down slightly and I realized I had at some point stood up. Turning, my eyes meet my rescuer. Zelena twitched the corner of her mouth in a half sympathetic smile and sat next to me in the booth.

We sat in silence for a time, both watching the crowd. You were just standing there with a smile, as Ruby held your left hand close, examining the newly place ring. The puny little rock that guy liner obviously pick up somewhere on the beach. I hadn't noticed until I felt a breath surge in my ear, Zelena leaned over to and whispered.

"You love her don't you?"

With a snap like rotation I was facing my sister, but I said nothing. I simply stood and quickly made my way to the door maneuvering through the crowd all the while praying to god no one would stop me. I slipped out the restaurant into the stormy night. The cold rain fell, beating down against my skin as a I walked toward the street. My car was parked not so far away, but for some reason the dry warmth did not sound so appealing now. Lightning cracked, whipping violently across the sky. I could feel my body drawing on the energy of the tempest, filling on the natural raw power. Every inch of my skin was overcome with intense fiery heat. I stopped to stand motionless in the road, letting the rain engulf me. All the while my mind screaming, searching for any semblance rationalism.

How does one overcome something or someone that has so profoundly affected them? Someone that without even trying, has utterly and completely conquered every single defense you had in place. I guess the answer is. You don't.


End file.
